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AWAKENING movie and wasnt watching His (18 March 2007)

ONE

My mind was in turmoil as I lay in the relative silence of the night.
Next to me, Karen snored softly and I could hear the cats romping in the
other room. The creak of a bedspring reached my ears - one of the children
turning over in their sleep, no doubt.

I can feel a wry grin creasing my face; here it is, two o'clock in the
morning and I can hear every little sound in the house. My half-smile
changes into a frown as I realize there's one certain set of sounds I can
hear, coming from the room next to mine.

Mixed feelings of elation - and guilt - flow through me. Not really a
bad feeling, as one might expect under the circumstances, but one which
leaves me wondering about my own sanity. Beside me, Karen turns over and
her hand brushes against my cock, giving it a squeeze. Normally, I'd be
rock hard in seconds; but tonight is so different!

Without a single command from my troubled mind, I begin to relive events
which had taken place only a few hours ago...

TWO

Strong yet soft hands knead the flesh of my ass. I can hear the labored
breathing of the other person with me, brought on by a combination of
exertion and excitement. Multiple sensations play against my senses: The
hands moving randomly over my body, touching and feeling every exposed inch
of skin. The ticklish feeling as strands of loose hair brush across my
stomach, sending my taut muscles into delightful spasms. The nearly
indescribable combined feelings of wetness, tightness, motion and friction
as lips, tongue, and mouth weave a pattern of pleasure along my rigid cock.

A sharp intake of breath from me as the tongue slides wetly across the
sensitive head of my cock and a low moan from the throat of the person who
sparked the feeling. My cock, having been under this delicious assault for
ten minutes or so, begins to grow longer and thicker, bringing a whimper of
anticipation from the one bringing me this somewhat obscene pleasure.

I can feel the passion building as my hips begin to thrust on their own.
I'm so close to losing it and I don't want this to end. At the same time,
something inside me is saying I shouldn't be doing this in the first place.
The emotional war rages on for a few more seconds until a more important
action demands all of my attention. My thrusts become more erratic,
creating a crazy rhythm which the luscious mouth surrounding me tries to
keep up with. Those strong, soft hands grip my ass tighter, attempting to
hold me in place, the fingers now kneading my flesh with greater urgency. A
single word escapes my lips: No. But, it's too late...

The first spasm rocks me and I can actually feel the first jet of sperm
fly from the tortured head of my cock. The second spasm is microseconds
behind the first and the mouth tightens its grip on me, sucking hard as my
seed slows from me. I can feel throat muscles at work as the one with me
swallows my copious load - and that simple action triggers one final,
mind-numbing spurt.

A grunt explodes from me and I shake uncontrollably. Tiny jerks are all
which remain as the mouth literally vacuums the last of my seed from me.
At last, the mouth is removed and I look into the face of the one who
delivered my pleasure. Dark, red-gold hair framing a face flushed equally
red with excitement. Blue eyes, pupils wide, stare into my brown ones and
that mouth, oh, that wonderful mouth, stretches into the most beautiful
smile I've ever seen. A long, pink tongue flicks from that smile to steal
away a gobbet of come which somehow managed to escape the mouth.

I feel... so good and so bad. I could have stopped this before it even
happened, all the while knowing I wouldn't. As I collect my thoughts, a
single tear flows from one corner of those electric blue eyes, bringing me
instantly into focus.

"What's wrong?" I ask, feeling a little fear building inside of me.

"Nothing, nothing at all. I've waited so long for this and, shit, I'm
just happy, that's all."

Even though I can easily see the truth of those words, I asked, "Are you
sure?"

"Never felt better. You were really something."

We untangle ourselves allowing me to move from my leaning-back position.
My elbows are a little sore - how long had I been leaning on them like
this? Doesn't matter because the guilt I knew was coming has, indeed,
arrived and it's really doing a number on me.

"Are you okay?" I force a smile before answering.

"Just fine. How long have you been doing this?"

Rob looks back at me, his face turning an interesting shade of red.
"This is my first time, actually."

I blink with surprise at the announcement. I had just been sucked off
expertly - by someone who hadn't done it before tonight.

"Really? I'm impressed."

"Thanks. Man, you sure bring a load when you come, don't you?"

I can feel my own face flush with heat. "Well..."

Rob's smile widens. "Hey, don't get me wrong! It was everything I had
hoped for and then some."

Any response I might have made is cut off at hearing the distinctive
sound of a key being pushed into a lock - Karen was home. Suddenly, Rob
and I rush to put ourselves into some semblance of normalcy; it wouldn't do
to have Karen walk into the room and find her husband and their friend
lying together naked.

We managed to get dressed and into a "respectable" setting just scant
seconds before Karen sticks her head in the door. "Hi, guys. I'm back -
what's going on?"

Rob and I both answer together. "Nothing. We were just sitting and
talking. You know - guy stuff."

"Well, okay. I'm going to put the kids to bed. Kenny?"

I looked toward my wife, hoping she can't read the look on my face.
"Yeah, babe?"

"See you when you come to bed. Don't keep Rob up all night running your
mouth, okay?"

"Sure, Karen. See you in a few minutes." My wife steps out of the room,
closing the door behind her. Rob looks at me, alarmed.

"Do you think she suspects anything?"

"Not at all. But..." I say standing and stretching, "I'd better get in
there before she does. We'll talk about this tomorrow, okay?"

"Whatever you say. Ken?"

"Hmm?"

"I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but I do love you."

Shit. Now, how did I know he was going to say that? Because as I
turned off the light on my way out, I knew he loved me just as much as I
love him. It was going to be a long night...

THREE

Karen snores loudly, breaking my reverie. I realize my breathing has
increased and, looky-looky! My cock is hard and throbbing with each beat
of my racing pulse. In the darkness, I throw a sour look at my cock. He
can lay like a dummy when Karen touches him but I'm lying here, thinking
about making love with Rob, and he's at attention! Traitor!

And, this is the reality I've been trying to avoid for the last couple
of hours. Not only did I have to deal with having my cock sucked so nicely
by another man, I also had to deal with the certain fact that I started the
whole thing.

THIS is a bitch to deal with! I saw the signs yet chose to ignore them.
Like a VCR, my thoughts rewind back to the first time I noticed what was
going on. As with all such things, it started innocently. Rob was on my
bowling team and it made sense to be friendly, didn't it? Then there were
the little gifts, all unexpected and, to me, unearned. Oh, but what should
have hipped me was the wrestling match a couple of weeks ago.

Rob had stopped by to visit and caught me doing some martial arts
exercises. He made a comment about being able to take me and I remember
laughing at him. After all, I'm 6'1", 180 pounds - and a trained killer.
Rob was 5'8" or so and probably weighed about 130 or 140 soaking wet with
bricks in his pockets - the boy probably couldn't kill a roach without some
help.

The next thing I knew, Rob was out of his seat and I reacted as trained,
planting him onto the unyielding floor. His freckled face went red as all
the air rushed out of him.

"Well, so much for you being able to take me, huh?" I asked.

"You caught me off guard. I can whip your black ass."

Oops. Wrong answer. I could feel the predatory smile spreading across
my dark features. "Really? Bring your silly white ass on, then. It's
time to go to school, my friend."

For the next hour, I mopped the floor with Rob. At first, I was going
easy on him - it was no contest, really. I easily held him immobile with
various mat techniques and "gentle" joint locks applied just hard enough to
let him know I was in control.

Or was I? After letting him up, he tried to smooth his hair, grimacing
at the pain flowing through his hand.

"Is that all you got? You're a pussy, you know that?"

Oh, was that ever the wrong thing to say! "Rob," I began, "I don't want
to really hurt you."

"Hurt me? You don't have what it takes." Rob lunged at me once more
and, in that instance, something snapped. I took him down hard, determined
to shut his mouth once and for all. The next hour was spent punishing him.
At one point, Rob punched me in the nose, something I hadn't really
expected since we were just wrestling. That was the final straw. Up until
this point, I was content with using my judo skills against his feeble
attempts.

"You hit like a girl," I commented, wiping a drop of blood from my
fingers.

"Maybe, but your nose is bleeding - mine isn't."

I could feel my mood turning dangerous. I went from just playing with
him to wanting to hurt him, as if our battle was for real. My discipline
returned and I could feel it's calming effect on me. "Well," I said after
a moment. "We'll just have to fix that, won't we?"

"If you're man enough," he replied, just before I snapped a very light
punch right on the bridge of his nose, just hard enough to sting and to
draw blood. Rob look back at me, stunned; I could tell he hadn't even seen
my hands move.

"Not bad - you're fast." Rob feigned turning away before winging a
roundhouse left toward me. Amateur. I turned his punching against him,
using his momentum to once again dump him flat on his back.

And, this time I wasn't going to let him up. Rob struggled against my
superior strength, his hands grabbing and clutching at my sweat-drenched
body. He grabbed my cock and squeezed several times and, despite my state
of mind, I could feel my cock hardening again.

Again? Dimly, I became aware of something. Throughout all of this, Rob
had been feeling me up! Shit! As realization dawned on me, I could really
recall his being on top of me, grinding his crotch against mine. Another
flash of understanding; at one point, he had his head in my lap, his face
nuzzling my cock through my pants.

As Rob struggled against me, I could feel the sudden anger flowing
through me at being suckered into this! Growling, I switched my grip
around his neck and squeezed just enough to get him gagging. His hand,
which had been massaging my cock, began to tap on my leg, the signal he had
surrendered.

I was so angry! Not at Rob, but at myself because everything he had
done suddenly made sense to me. All the gifts, all the closeness... his
interest in me was sexual! And I fell for it, hook, line, and sinker.

Rob went home shortly afterwards, leaving me plenty of time to sort
things out. I knew I'd see him at our next bowling match and, by God,
he'll have some answering to do!

FOUR

As it turned out, Rob missed that night of bowling. A couple of days
later, I learned he had lost his job, gotten news his grandmother had died
and, to top things off, he'd been evicted from his apartment. All of this
stressed him out so much he had checked into a mental treatment center and
the staff there had called me. After getting directions to the facility, I
went to see Rob.

So deep was my concern for his well-being, I never did ask him about the
events of a few nights ago. Instead, I found myself offering him a place
to stay until he could get back on his feet. Karen agreed it was the right
thing to do; after all, we were friends. A few days later, Rob was
released into my custody and we moved his meager possessions into the spare
bedroom.

We left Rob alone to get things organized. Karen took the children to
some event she had to attend, leaving me alone with Rob. No big deal
because I had some things to do around the house of my own and set about my
tasks. I went toward the bathroom to empty the trash when I heard the
sounds of Rob crying. Concerned, I stuck my head into his room.

"Hey! What's wrong, man?

Rob looked up at me, wiping his eyes. "Ken, I've got so much shit on my
mind right now I don't know what to do."

Putting down the trash can, I entered the room, sitting next to him on
the bed. "You wanna talk about it?"

He nodded, wiped his eyes once again and took a moment to clear his
throat. "What would you do if you found out you were in love with somebody
- but they didn't know it?"

I frowned, thinking. "That's hard to say. Obviously, you gotta do
whatever your heart tells you."

"But, if I tell this person how I feel, it could turn out bad."

I shrugged. "It's a risk we all take at some time or another. I would
think the easiest thing to do is catch up with this person and tell them
how you feel and deal with it after that."

"That's good advice," Rob said. He looked at me with an intensity I
found surprising. Alarms were going off in my head - and I didn't know
why.

Rob's blue eyes studied me and I could see he was running things through
his mind. Then he uttered those fateful words. "Kenny, I'm in love with
you."

The announcement hit me like the proverbial ton of bricks. I was
surprised, yet, not surprised. Everything which had taken place prior to
his revelation suddenly made perfectly good sense.

Stupidly, I asked, "Why me?"

Rob smiled. "Why not? I think you are a beautiful man. Strong, smart
- all that." All I could do was sit there with a dumb look on my face as
Rob continued.

"I tried to tell you before but couldn't bring myself to do it. Then, I
decided to challenge you to that match, figuring I'd get my feels in and
you'd get the hint."

Uh huh. Suspicions confirmed. Still dumbfounded, I said, "I don't take
hints very well."

"So I learned - and painfully, too." Rob fell silent, waiting for me to
say or do something.

Instead of the two million questions I had in my mind, all I could ask
was, "What do you want to do about this?" Seemed like a good question...

"I want to suck your cock," he replied before bursting into tears once
again. In that moment, my heart went out to him and I made a decision.
Standing, I removed my pants and said, "Well, here it is..."

Now I'm lying here in bed, feeling so good about it - and wondering if
I'm gay or something. This wasn't the first time I'd had my