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a day in hell (20 July 2004)
One day a guy dies and finds himself in hell. As he is wallowing in despair he has his first meeting with a demon...
Demon: Why so glumà chum?
Guy:à What do you think?à I'm in hell.
Demon:à Hell's not so bad.à We actually have a lot of fun down here...you a drinkin' man?
Guy:à Sure,à I love to drink.à Love the drinks.
Demon:à Well you're gonna love Mondays then.à Onà Mondays that's all we do is drink.à Whiskey,à tequila,à Guinness,à wine coolers,à diet tab, and fresca...we drink till we throw up and then we drink some more!
Guy:à Geeàthat sounds great.
Demon:à You a smoker?
Guy: You better believe it!à Love the smoking.
Demon:à Alright!à You're gonna love Tuesdays.à We get the finest cigars from all over the world and smoke our lungs out.à If you get cancer - no biggie - you're already dead remember?
Guy:à Wow...that's...awesome!
Demon:à I bet you like to gamble.
Guy:à Whyà yesà as a matter of factà I do.à Love the gambling.
Demon:à Cause Wednesday you can gamble all you want.à Craps, Blackjack, Roulette, Poker, Slots, whatever...à If you go Bankrupt...well you're dead anyhow.
Demon:àà You into drugs?
Guy:à Are you kidding?à Love drugs! You don't mean...
Demon:à That's right!à Thursday is drug day.à Help yourself to a great big bowl of crack. or smack.à Smoke a doobie the size of a submarine. You can do all the drugs you wantàand if ya overdose - that's right - you're dead - who cares!à O.D.!!
Guy:à Yowza!à I never realized Hell was such a swingin' place!!
Demon: You gay?
Guy:à Uhà no.
Demon:à Oooohà (grimaces) you're really gonna hate Fridays.