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Welcome to our "smut" library. Here you will find various information articles and exciting stories dedicated to
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Grace (15 May 2005)
Paul Fenstermaker had no idea why he now remembered that nauseating, feral pink pig who hand-built he and his family such a gorgeous in-ground pool a few years back. His non-labile wife (what wife?) wanted the best possible in-ground pool for their new home so he called his friend Solipsistic Straight Haired Female Friend From College and asked her to recommend the best in-ground pool builder in the world. She said: 'My hip sister keeps on raving about this crass pig she read about in the Utne who has earned an 'underground' reputation as the world's most incredibly brilliant, erudite underground, oops I mean in-ground, pool builder. Except he is a complete asshole and he will insult your family by using such words as 'Fuck' and 'Shit'; remember he is literally a pig, in the literal sense, he has four legs and rolls around in his own crap – but, alas – he's the best damn in-ground pool builder on the planet.'
So the pig went to their house to build Fenstermaker and his wife a pool. Sure enough, Solipsistic Straight Haired Female Friend From College was right, he was a pig. He was pink, walked on four legs, and he smelled like: Poo. Sure enough he insulted Paul's wife a whole lot. During the nine days it took him to build the Fenstermaker's a truly magnificent pool, he called Paul's wife the following:
1) A Stupid Bitch
2) An Abortion
3) The C-Word
4) The Progenitor of All That Is Evil
But whenever Paul's wife would get super emotionally upset at the vile-literal-pig/brilliant-in-ground-pool-builder, Paul would simply place his left hand on her right shoulder and point to the beautiful pool he was building. When given the chance, he opened his mouth to tell her the following: 'That crazy pig sure is building us a wonderful, isn't he?'
He would then continue to say: 'I thought this is what you always wanted.'
So the pig went to their house to build Fenstermaker and his wife a pool. Sure enough, Solipsistic Straight Haired Female Friend From College was right, he was a pig. He was pink, walked on four legs, and he smelled like: Poo. Sure enough he insulted Paul's wife a whole lot. During the nine days it took him to build the Fenstermaker's a truly magnificent pool, he called Paul's wife the following:
1) A Stupid Bitch
2) An Abortion
3) The C-Word
4) The Progenitor of All That Is Evil
But whenever Paul's wife would get super emotionally upset at the vile-literal-pig/brilliant-in-ground-pool-builder, Paul would simply place his left hand on her right shoulder and point to the beautiful pool he was building. When given the chance, he opened his mouth to tell her the following: 'That crazy pig sure is building us a wonderful, isn't he?'
He would then continue to say: 'I thought this is what you always wanted.'