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The hick (22 April 2005)

To celebrate his eighteenth birthday, a boy from the sticks decides to go to the big city and get his cherry popped. He meets a hooker and she takes him to a motel room. Once there, she says, "OK, big boy. What's your pleasure?" The hick says, "What's you got?" She says, "How about 'Around the World'?" The hick thinks, I ain't never been out of the county, much less the country, so he says, "No, thank you, ma'am. What else you got?" She says, "How about the 'Missionary Position'?" He says, "I ain't much of a religious person. What else you got?" She says, "How about '69'?" Puzzled, the hick thinks, It's just a number. How bad could it be? So he says "OK".

She tells him to strip and lie on the bed, which he does. She gets naked and assumes the position above him. While she chows down, he doesn't know what to do at first but instinct soon takes over and he does likewise. Unfortunately, the hooker had eaten beans for lunch and now she feels the consequences building up in her bowels. She desperately tries to hold it, but the more she tries, the more it threatens to explode. Finally, she lets loose a silent but deadly fart that's so noxious that it even nauseates her. She's worried about the hick, but he doesn't seem to react to it. Whew, she thinks. I just dodged a bullet. He's so horny that he probably didn't even notice it. She continues her business but she feels another fart brewing. This time she lets fly a thunderous fart that rattles the windows. The hick momentarily stops, but then continues eating her. Now the hooker is really worried. There is no way he could NOT have noticed THAT fart.

So she stops what she's doing and says, "Hey, how ya doing down there?" And the hick says in a muffled voice, "Oh, OK, I guess, but I don't think I can take 67 more of these farts."

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